You've stumbled onto my little crochet corner of the world. Here, I will be sharing some free patterns as well as pictures of the other patterns in progress that I'm making. You can keep up to date with me here or on my facebook page.

If you are wanting to purchase some of my creations you can see them at my etsy page

Alternatively if you'd like to see a specific pattern be created and released or if you were after a commission, feel free to send me an email at gardensofmay at gmail.

I hope you like what you see here and feel free to contact me if you need any help with anything or want to see anything in particular!~ And I absolutely love seeing pictures of other people creating my designs so please send them to me so I can put them on my blog also!

Thursday, June 19, 2014

Thoughtful Thursdays~!

I have been making so many things lately. The turtles that I made last time have almost all sold out! There is only Leonardo left. Poor thing. It appears he is the least loved out of all the four. And the most loved at the moment is Donatello since I have sold him and since then been asked to commission another one~

He is the same as the other turtles except the eyes were specially chosen for him. A little more red here but it's a browny shade of red. I am thinking of making another four of them really soon so I can add them to my shop at the next convention but there are so many things that I need to make! And I'm planning which pattern I'm going to be releasing next week!

I might also be taking a small break from pattern writing and crochet designing to making some Freshstitches patterns that I've received but not had a chance to make yet. I have a dog pattern and a kit club pattern that I haven't had a chance to touch yet!

But today is a day for thinking. And today I'm going to touch on anxiety and panic attacks. I am a person who gets panic attacks quite easily. Sometimes I know the trigger (such as being in a place that's too crowded or being forced to do something that is out of the ordinary for myself) and sometimes I don't know the trigger (like today, I had a 2 hour panic attack at my table where my hear twas beating so fast I thought my chest was going to shut down, my hands were shaking and I felt a little faint). Sometimes people tell me that the panic attacks that I have without a trigger may come down to me just feeling stressed. They might be right. Luckily at the time that happened today, I was answering work emails and not talking to customers directly because I don't know if I could have gotten my voice under control but I was glad after a few hours I managed to get past it.

Every two weeks I have a psychologist appointment and we sit down and talk about my symptoms and we talk about a lot of things about my childhood and younger self to see if we can pin point exactly how these issues started. I haven't made much headway there yet, I might talk more about it if I can bring myself to share my experiences but we haven't really reached any milestones that I can think of where I could really go "hey! That's why this is how I turned out the way I am".

Before I saw my psychologist, I spoke to a really good doctor though. He told me that medication isn't always the way and I am very happy that he advised me to go talk about my feelings instead of doping me up with chemicals. Maybe the progress is a little slower but I am glad that I am able to slowly work through this and that I have an understanding workplace, understanding friends and a wonderful family.

He did give me a few tips to help me control my panic attacks and anxiety. One of the tricks that really works for me is to take a time out and describe how I'm feeling. I will specifically tell myself how I feel from top to bottom.

As I sat at my desk today, between emails I was telling myself "My mind feels muddled. My heart is beating really fast. It almost hurts my chest. My hands are shaking. My whole upper body is trembling..." So on and so forth until I was able to slowly let the feelings go one at a time. It took a few hours...sometimes my panic attacks only last a few minutes and I'm able to calm down. I'm not sure why today's one took longer than normal.

But in the end I'm okay.  :)  I hope everyone else is doing okay as well! If anybody else has any tips in controlling their panic attacks or calming themselves down, it would be wonderful to hear from everyone!

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